I love reacting to celebrity drama like I’m an elderly grandmother just sittin in my rocking chair hearing gossip about one of the neighborhood youngins. Oh that Padalecki boy stirred up some kind of hooplah over on the twitters did he? Well that’s nice. *sips lemonade*
Shout out to Beatrice, my girl invented the first “One Brain-Cell” Joke when mocking Benedick, the first mention of him in the entire play.
“In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one…” - Beatrice, Much Ado About Nothing, Act 1 Scene 1
Thanks Willy Shakes, very cool
hey yall I didn’t want to have to do work for my online classes so i made a uquiz instead. answer some questions and i’ll tell u what aspect of your personality annoys me the most
So far, people who get the same answer rb and tag this in VERY SIMILAR WAYS. Which is so cool!!! You know what really kills me though? People who get “you don’t like being held accountable” NEVER reblog it. BUT YOU GUYS ARE THE MOST POPULAR RESULT. I KNOW YOU’RE THERE. which tells me that you don’t like being held accountable SO MUCH that you will boycott a whole ass uquiz bc of it. And that, my friends, that is beautiful.
My (somewhat late) contribution to JSE Tumblr for Valentine’s Day
I may have drawn a little too much inspiration from Howl lol
Soon may the wellerman come
your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
so much to do, so much to see
the name of the ship was the billy of tea
Will never stop thinking about things that, in the moment, are so funny you can’t stop laughing, or can’t speak, or practically piss yourself, and then when you try to explain it later it is not funny in the slightest.
My manager and I were talking about caterpillars (for some reason) and I said “you know the black fluffy ones with an orange stripe?” And he said “oh those little dudes that be on the sidewalk like?” And gyrated in a vague emulation of a caterpillar.
Folks I was on the FLOOR. I had to duck back behind the counter. One of the servers saw us losing it and came over like “what’s so funny” and we repeated the whole thing and he was like “...okay?”
Once a coworker and I were alone on the floor and made up a whole fantasy in which the managers of the two separate locations were stuck in a “thinks it’s unrequited but they’re just idiots” fanfic and connected all their normal behavior back to this premise and we were laughing so hard my abs hurt and I’ve never ever been able to use a single phrase of that conversation since, or replicate a fraction of how funny it was
Use this post to tell me something that was super hilarious but you’ve never been able to explain
Sit down y'all it’s time to discuss the Swedish Chef incident-
So last year (mind you we all were being safe, don’t start going nuts on me now), a bunch of college friends and I are hanging out. I’m eating peanut butter pretzels, lounging on a chair, listening into bits and pieces of conversation just dissociating, as you do. And then, for SOME godforsaken reason, I mishear one of my friends and I blurt out like an idiot, “YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON THE MUPPETS?”
Later I would learn that they were not, in fact, talking about the Muppets. Or crushes.
The room goes silent for a moment. And then, my friend’s twin sister’s boyfriend, as if struck by divine inspiration, mutters, “Okay but the Swedish Chef tho…”
We all break out into hysterics. I’m practically spasming from laughter to the point where I forgot how to breathe. People almost fall out of chairs from cackling. None of us can keep our composure over the insane concept of the Swedish Chef being the sexiest Muppet of our time. I almost faceplanted into my plate of peanut butter pretzels. This went on for like….5 or 10 minutes.
To this day, the Swedish Chef incident lives in my mind rent-free, as it does with everyone else who witnessed it. Everyone else thinks we’re criminally insane.
College just be like that, you know?
pettyprocrastination